Meeting the Safe Space Stranger for the First Time

I met a stranger girl online some months ago who lives far away from my home (in another part of country). Both of us being unmarried, we thought we would develop a safe space for each other to let off our steam without expecting anything back.

Both of us talked about ambitions, fears, goals, stuff that is important to us.
I guess when its a stranger talking, you know they can’t harm you in sense, they live far away from you and have never met you and only way to judge them is through the reply they write to you.
Gradually, we exchanged numbers, sent voice notes to each other and brought mental closure. She recently changed her city and took admission into a university.

Today, I went to her university and met her for the first time. I am grinning typing this but its another type of feeling that you are seeing someone for the first time and yet it feels you know them since a very long time. The gestures, the talking way, the reactions – its Deja Vu

Why I think very highly of her? She’s a survivalist, a fighter, someone who doesn’t waste her food, is not into mindless pomp and show. She came from an abusive household where parents did not share much love but in her actions, there is kindness. Her actions imply what she has suffered in her life, she doesn’t want others to suffer it. But why does this attract me? Because I can feel/empathize how others people live their life/survivor’s guilt/abundance mindset, dedicating time to a purpose, confronting your villains by working on yourself, getting rid of her gaslighting – all these things I guess!

I am an extrovert – someone who enjoys conversing but the most beautiful moment with her was sitting on the bench, being silent, feeling the air around!

We both don’t owe each other anything but I like to believe we both are well wishers of each other, safe space providers and I hope we get to write our endings which turn out better for both of us! (Irrespective of wherever we are in the world)

The King in the North!

I decided to do something wild this year. I ordered branded female cloths (multiple pieces) and gave them away as a gift to all elderly females of my family. I feel proud of myself.

I created a powerful memory. With global economy down worldwide, people losing jobs – We need more reasons to smile!

Thankful for supportive parents and office female colleagues who helped in my selection!

I feel like a King in the North (with Abundance Mindset)

4th June 2023

Education – Employment – Entrepreneurship (The 2nd E)

1st July 2019:-

I got a job before graduation. Today was first day as a trainee engineer in Ciklum. Free beverages, discounted food, indoor sports, off weekends and a rich supportive network of acquaintances. I love this company’s culture. I can’t believe I used to hate programming and now I have been selected for a technical job.

‘Education – Employment – Entrepreneurship’  – I have reached the 2nd E. I hope to gain enough experiences and train myself better to launch my own businesses one day.

The AIESEC vow

‘Hi everyone, today I feel like writing to all of you.

Today is a special day for me, because when I came back from Indonesia, I thought I was among the priveliged kids who could afford travelling. Not so long ago, I made a personal goal with myself to impress my parents by giving all the money back from part time job (content writing) during university.
Today I have paid the last installment and IDK, I felt like sharing this news with all of you. Because I feel happy and now I have made some other goals.
Thank you for being a part of my life. You all helped build me.’

Upon posting this paragraph in our private group of my Aiesec friends, I received a lot of support. Right now, my face is smiling but only I know how rough my past 10 days have been. I have been working like hell, writing almost 8 articles per day. (One day I even touched the mark of 12 or 13, I don’t remember) but that doesn’t matter now. What matters is my true grit! I also learnt that low payrates don’t matter if you are consistent. You can always take more work to cover your margins.

And now, I would like to face my direction of life towards my other life goals. One thing is for sure: AIESEC will forever be a part of me.

Farewell letter for my senior!

She is my senior from electrical department and she is about to graduate.

She is different from other girls and her grace has made my soul her fan. I wish we could be close but despite being the most social guy of my university, there is a little communication barrier whenever I talk to her.

Anyway, I was sitting in library that day and she came to me and said ‘Raza! I will bring a paper on which you have to present your autograph’

I lost all my words. I couldn’t say anything. Me…my autograph? Why tf would you? I feel so honored…

Exam season never felt so amazing. I decided to do something for her. Since I knew I would be living in the university for 10 days, I had access to countless resources. I decided to write her a parting letter, appreciating her and making her feel special (without any romantic attentions)

I got a brown envelope from stationary, wrote my heart out and with the help of my hostel friend burnt candle wax to seal the letter.

We literally put engineering to use. Since candle wax is notorious for not sticking up, we even mixed honey. It still didn’t hold up. We then, took an obsolete badminton shuttle, cut the cork and obtained a ring. We filled wax inside the hollow part and the letter seal looked like a crystal donut with brown surroundings. It felt so good!

It was 13 August 2018 and rain had just stopped. I got out of the hostel at around 8pm and headed straight to library (study room) where she was studying. I met her, asked her to join me for sometime in the open. She came out, I presented her the letter.

She was shocked. At first she couldn’t stop complementing, then she was like I would never open it…It’s too pretty XD

Hahaha…It was fun. I told her, you will read the letter once you leave the university.

I received her message yesterday. She read the letter and thanked me for my gesture. I felt good but then a thought came up to me ‘Perhaps I may never see her again’

I mean I know…life is a temporary phase and it’s a test but still, sometimes you like certain people and never wish them to go away from you…

Anyways, there is nothing much you can do about it. Just embrace the reality and focus on your goals and life. And one more thing (to the reader), it’s really awesome if you perform small gestures of making someone feel special 🙂

That kid’s reply haunts me

28th February, 2018:

I did not get an F in the paper of ‘Signals and Systems.’ I had a shitty exam but I ended up with a C+. I still cannot believe my luck XD

Anyway, today I was coming back to home from University. When I reached my lane, I met 4 kids, who were pressing doorbells of houses in the street, to earn some money via begging.

They asked me some money (equal to 10 cents) But that’s not important. The important part about my article is the conversation which took place between me and one of those kids.

The kid who asked me for money was about 10 years old. He was healthy and bald (kind of like a small version of Jake from “Two and a half men”) He also had dimples.

He said to me, “Please give me money – I’ll pray for you”
I said, “What will you pray about?”
“That you may get a car.” – He replied.
I said, “I am not interested in cars. I want to travel the world”
He said, “I’ll pray for that .”
(I don’t think the kid understood my reply but how could he? An innocent child beggar of a 3rd world country, the kind of like who should be in school but ended up on streets because of financial pressures. I don’t even remember what he said. He just made an innocent face and smiled till I handed him currency, worth of 10 cents.

His innocence made me boil in my anger. What have our politicians, our military, our leaders did for us. NOTHING. All these country taxes and still unemployment in the country – still poverty – still innocent dreams getting crushed by financial pressures.

 

When I entered my home and as I write this sentence, I hear myself saying ” I wish I could do something for my country. I wish my engineering would present me a way to help people of my country. Just something to improve economy o Because, if I did not and only indulge in a hedonistic, pleasure seeking lifestyle, I would just be a failed result of my dad’s condom. What use is of my education from one the best universities of the world, if I fail to lessen the burden of people of my country, who are already struggling to make their ends meet? How can I make my engineering productive?

Pitching an idea to investors before me

I had a terrible exam of Signals and Systems today. Maybe I’ll get an F at the end of this semester( Duhh…I don’t care….Nooo…I really do)

Anyway…Putting aside computer engineering, today I had another task after my exam. My toppers of my class requested me to present their project at Techstars (POWERED BY GOOGLE) {at Islamabad Startup Weekend}

Their project “Under utilization of rainfed land” (i.e. using solar power to drill the water from the ground and using it for irrigation purpose) had been choosen among the lucky 12 teams (total 36 teams) and now, in the final rounds, they asked me to represent them

No preparation, no idea about the environment and given a narrow time slot of about 30 minutes, we prepared the necessary slides.

We were team number 9. Out of five people, two people stepped onto stage. Me and my friend Mobi. Mobi had recently been diagnosed with a deadly disease (His immune system started attacking his own body)

Despite everything, he took one for the team and decided to pair up. I presented the best I could.

Multiple judges praised my presentation skills. (In fact I was the only one who received this honor after my presentation) They say that I could become a good salesman…even if I don’t go well towards engineering.

But our project, it was not a new thing apparently. Lots of people were doing it and we just didn’t realize.

I think starting a business is not as hard as they say. You just need a good product and a good marketeer. I have good marketing skills but I still, I have a lot to learn (AND I NEED TO GRADUATE)

Islamabad Startup Weekend ~ Techstars (POWERED BY GOOGLE)

16th December 2017

I Created A Powerful Memory Today

I hate cigarettes…I hate the smoke. I had the idea of investing hard earned money on a piece of equipment that is draining me of my cash and my health.

But…since the childhood. I had the fantasy of smoking a cigar, much like one of my ideals Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Now, I’m a guy who loves his parents very much. I know if they come to know, that I smoke (I don’t smoke btw), they’ll feel sad that their son is developing bad habits

Both me and my dad are fans of movies of Arnold. What I did today – I bought a cigar… and then, asked my dad to have a smoke. Initially, my dad thought I was joking but then, I told him…I want to make memories with you

It was about 5 pm and the weather was delightful after a rain shower. I took a plastic chair inside the porch, told my dad to sit. My mom standing next to him. I put on some retro music from the 80’s on Youtube and then I lit up the cigar

Hahaha…what can I tell? It was awesome. He took some puffs and then, I sat on the chair, and took about 5 puffs. I even made a video of my dad, puffing out cigar fumes and we all happily embarrassed. In the end, I destroyed the cigar in front of my parents…that I would smoke never again (I’m a science student. I know its potential disadvantages)

As I type, after about an hour, I still have that cigar taste in my mouth. How do you describe it? It feels like an aromatic tea odor revolving in circles around my mouth

Today I got the feeling that life is short and we should tell people that they are special and are meaningful in our lives. Who knows, tomorrow they won’t be and then it would be too late

In my part of the world, people are usually very much attached with their parents. I figured if we all try to go extra mile and do something good – the universe also sends us all the love back

But one thing’s for sure. 10th September 2017 – I’ll always remember you as the day, a non-smoker convinced his non-smoking dad to have a cigar and make a powerful memory <3…Man! If I ever get married and had kids, I’ll proudly tell them about this day.

Much love everyone – The college kid feels very happy today. Gotta go! See ya!

 

Learning Swimming in College…

Year 2016:-

I see a sea/ocean for the first time in my life in South East Asia. I was with my friends, from all kinds of different countries, representing in an exchange program. Its first time for everything….I get very excited…. till I slip inside the water…
WHOOOSH….
I thought the Sun I’m seeing above the Pari Island, Jakarta would be my last one till my Swiss buddy pulls me out

Fast forward to year 2017….I’m back in Pakistan. Its Summer holiday time in college but I’m still stuck in Summer program to improve my grades 😦

I thought…My university has access to one of the finest pools of the world…Lets conquer that stupid fear of last year and learn to swim

Wearing a light blue silicon cap and swimming shots, as a compulsion to enter the pool, I went inside. I cleaned my feet with the disinfectant and scaled down the ladder of 6 feet pool….

BUT WAIT!!!

I took about 2 steps down and that fear of last year came alive today…I went out of the pool…again tried to come…but it felt as if I’m traversing down an ocean with mighty waves…

I went to a nearby pool of 3 feet…The irony being a 6 feet + guy struggling in a 3 feet pool 😀

But…it felt much friendlier than the larger pool. I started practicing the breathing exercises I learnt on Youtube…Did some sit ups…tried to walk inside the pool

The instructor advised me to put on the pool tube and then try to swim…

MANNNN!!!!The feeling was awesome.

I felt like that cartoon “Bojack Horseman” …being the most important person in the world, chilling over the pool….I even tried backflips, diving, butterfly,…that is ofcourse, wearing the pool tube….

I once read that once, Jason Statham had been an excellent diver. I hope to get that kind of physique…..Well…Swimming is a good exercise….Who knows – my baby fats might melt due to my struggle and I might even get a better physique than him….

Its been two days now…and journey has been good. Hopefully next time I go to pool, I’ll wear the tube and go for the big pool….

I AIN’T SCARED NO MORE….. 😉

My first Paragliding Experience…

This rugged mountainous area – That beautiful blue lake in the middle – The scorching sun – The fear of falling off the parachute in mid air…where am I?
Alright…enough of these thoughts…Let’s grab up a backpack and scale that 300 feet peak…
1st flight…number 3rd with a red glider…Buckling the harness-nervously hearing the staff instructions-the wind fiddling with the glider,pulling me off in the other direction…I ran…I ran on the steep slope …..
WHEE…Lovely! This just feels like “Just Cause” A professional right turn of the glider…Yayyy…There’s my flag where I gotta land….Ground approaching closer and closer…breaks applied…
One foolish mistake made: I didn’t move with the glider…Crash landing became my destiny and I skided off my knees and my arse in the field….Luckily no injury though…Scolded by staff for having a very well ride yet a very stupid landing
The suckiest part is always carrying the heavy backpack up to the peak..
Next comes 2nd flight…This time deep breaths – confident and wanting to earn the respect of the staff..I wear the backpack-tie up the harness once more
A large black glider and a large time duration flight welcomed my fate…
You know you reach a state of orgasm and a world of ecstacy when you’re up in the air – floating effortlessly…and having a thought pondering over the fact that us humans are so weak – so puny…against the scary Godly atmosphere…We can declare many proud statements but are no match when we’re up,swinging like a piece of thin cobweb against strong air…
Anyways…the second flight was wow…I may not have the exact words to describe my flight but I can tell you about my landing….
Near the end of the flight – both breaks pulled down, perfectly executing a flawless landing on both feet.
Literally enjoyed every bit of my flying emotions!!!